Wars Faced as a Working Mom
Wars Faced as a Working Mom
We are at war. I’m not talking about our spirit warring against the flesh. Yes, there is a necessity to see this world for what it truly is and the daily battle we face as Christians. Unfortunately, I am referring to another kind of ‘war’. You may have heard of it: “Mom Wars”. You may have seen it in action; the commercials depicting the differing styles of parenting. Each ‘camp’ condescendingly looking down at another group. We receive or give out criticism for fitness level (whatever it may be), stance on vaccinations, appearance, clothes, food choices (heaven forbid we should ever eat anything that is not certified as organic), hobbies, aspirations, one child or seven- the number is never what is deemed as socially acceptable. As a believer, how can we avoid either feeling critiqued or being the one who is critiquing? We need to refocus our hearts on what really matters. Here are three ways that we as Christian mothers can overcome the war we face.
Proverbs 25:11- “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.” Ephesians 4:29 “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”
First, we all should be encouraging. What is your calling? Are you a Stay At Home Mom (SAHM)? Never think to yourself that you ‘just stay at home with the kids’. The monotony of your job- diapers, snacks, meals, naps, meltdowns, doctor’s visits, loving corrections, praise and encouragement for those small milestones- it is draining. Maybe, there is a longing for adult companionship and conversation that occurs during your seemingly mundane life. And even though you dearly love and cherish the little ones clambering at your feet, you also feel the ache, loneliness, and isolation that may come with your calling as a SAHM. You. Are. Amazing. Truly, you are an irreplaceable, vital part of your child’s life. On the flip side, not all women are called to be a SAHM.
Do you work full time? Part time? The role you play should never be underestimated. You put 100% in at work: arriving before you need to be there, staying late, working and researching at night when the children are asleep. And then, you have to prepare meals for you family, spend quality time with them, and then get up to do it all over again. And this is not to say you find your work and home life a drudgery. You love what you do! However, it still is hard, hard work.
Neither calling is easy. Each woman’s circumstances creates a different avenue of choices and decisions for the family unit. And whatever job we find ourselves, let us all remember to lift one another up with our words.
Galatians 1:10- “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” As a second point of focus, we should never compare ourselves with others and their children. Your well-meaning friends may say, “My daughter was walking at 10 months!” “My child’s first word was aviation, and he was reading by age two.” “My son has earned all A’s on their report card and is top of their class”. “My daughter earned Student of the Year.” These statements are innocent, but they can sting those parents whose children may not be at that level of recognition and achievement. Or what if we have said those things? There is by no means anything wrong with sharing our child’s accomplishments, but there should be care as to whom it is spoken to. There may be a mom who has been burdened over the challenges or difficulties their child faces on a daily ?basis. But do we maybe sometimes share this information because WE want to be noticed for being such a good parent? (I Corinthians 13:4 “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant.”). Then we may need to ask the Lord for His strength, wisdom, and discernment in what we say and why we say it. And then we may say this to ourselves: “Look at how cute her kids’ clothes are.”, “How does she find time to do it all?”, “Her children are so well- behaved.”, “I could never put together a party as picture perfect as that.” No. No. No. and No. Don’t do this to yourself! This will cause you to lose your joy. As challenging as it may be, do not compare your strengths or weaknesses with others.
Hebrews 12:1-2 “1. Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2. looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.” Finally, keep your focus on Christ. If our focus is on Christ, our determination will be filling our child’s mind with the gospel. Clothes, shoes, technology, and sports will take a backseat. Those really won’t matter. (Wait. Did she just say that? “Those really won’t matter?!”) As we journey through this life together, we are to “...grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ" (II Peter 3:18). Our identity will be found in the One who saved us. We will not worry if we are not dubbed as being the best mom, teacher, business professional, or whatever God has called us to. There will be an innate desire to do our best, but our perspective on being perceived as the best will be dropped along the wayside. You will give yourself grace, fully knowing that you will make mistakes and will not be perfect. You will give others grace, also knowing that they will make mistakes. We will pray for each other as we battle in the trenches together. Will we falter? Will our eyes waver and take in the storms around us? Absolutely. Pray for the Lord’s strength, patience, and for our service to glorify to Him. Truly, all that matters is that we glorify Jesus Christ as our eyes are fixed on Him. This starts in our homes and then overflows to the other areas and connections in our lives.
So let us not have the goal of associating ourselves with a specific mom group. Let us not have the goal of perfection. May we encourage, be careful not to compare, and focus on our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.